The Re-Return of Reviews

So I did reviews for a bit, then I stopped. Then the Kindle was invented, then I started doing reviews again. Then life got a bit hectic so I stopped again. Now I have started writing for Trash Mutant and so I have decided I'm open for review business once again.

If you have a book you'd like me to review read the I Do Reviews page and, if that doesn't put you off, drop me a line. Trash Mutant-y things will be given priority. So contact away I want to read your genre filth!

Yay! Podcasts!

Episode 42 - Rebootcops!

Did they have to? Well, they did! And it's up to the guys to worry about it all. We are of course talking about the much loved and dismissed Reboot of Robocop. Ian and Leo, having freshly consumed the NEW Robocop, sit down to digest and regurgitate it all, then flannels in hand they try picking over the fetid mess looking for where this meal went wrong.

Really it's hard not to declare "Even trying" and calling it a day but Leo is determined to find the films silver penny and shining it up for us to think about. Then as if by magic Justin appeared and the discussions moved on to the whole issue of reboots and why they're just bad, except when they're not. Leo has an epiphany about taking things too seriously, Ian wishes they'd called it "Drone Policeman" instead and Justin is shocked and dismayed we've got to do this all again next year with "The Terminator".



Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/042Rebootcops/042-Rebootcops.mp3

Episode 43 - Summer 2014: Swords, Sandals, Superheroes and Sci Fi

The ever expanding Summer release schedule is that special time of year when studios let loose their best moives. Like chicks pushed from the nest and wrapped in a blanket of warm hope these films are sent off to the glowing arch way of the box office. There they'll be ushered before the great viewing public to do battle for popularity or at very least kill the competition in some kind of bloody and humiliating way.

This arena of duelling films couldn't possibly commence without our favourite three 80s boys placing lots on who'll be the winners in this years Film-off. So come join us in our royal box as we inspect this years fighters. And what a crop we have! The return of Captain America, Spider-man and just about all the X-Men who ever were. The Biblical flood defying alcoholic Noah and no less than two Hercules with a side order of extra Spartans. Also Rising from the grave like something no longer a trilogy comes another unwanted Transformers movie but the shape changing monster trucks are dwarfed by the long shadow of Godzilla, ready to eat your Planes and Dragons no matter how well you've trained them.

But while the bets are being placed on the coming box office melee and who will be the winner it's clear the 80s Kids have a soft spot for Guardians of the Galaxy and a troop of anthropomorphic Monkeys. Will they prevail? Well. We don't know yet. That answer is months away. In the meantime here is an hour of free speculation.



Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/043Summer2014/043-Summer-2014.mp3

Episode 44 - Return of the 90s Bros - Cinema Visits EXTREME! 

And so we arrive at the dreaded 90s ... long have the 80s Kids spoken in terror at its coming and lamented it's harvest of awful films. But most of all, how can we have a podcast called "Revenge of the 80s Kids" that about an entirely different decade? Well, it's because our defiant trio lived through those ten years and came through it with the campaign medals firmly nailed on their chests.

Time for a flash back episode! It's time for our 80s Kids to grow up leave home and at some point along the way, meet each other. In the meantime, what's on at the pictures? YES! Our band of 80s heroes this week cast their minds back and try to think of the films they actually went and saw on the BIG Glowing Rectangle during the 90's. Along the way we hear the story of how Justin traumatized his Mum with a family visit to the pictures, of Ian's supreme failure to see the Count of Monte Cristo and Leo's disgust at a film he calls "One of the seminal texts as to why 90's films were awful".

Incidental Music by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com



Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/044ReturnOfThe90sBrosRatedEForExtreme/044-Return-of-the-90s-Bros-Rated-E-for-Extreme.mp3

Archived Podcasts

Episode 35: A Podcast Worth A Thousand Words - 09-Jan-2014

Although none of those words are spoken by Ian, sadly absent from this week's cast but fondly remembered by Leo and Justin who get down to business talking about films with that particular visual flair. Never ones to steer clear of the clashing rocks of cliche we steer full steam ahead into asking an artist what it is he likes in the cinema generally.

We talk Burton, we talk Gilliam and while we're at it we talk Kubrick, Hitchcock passes through on the way somewhere else. As the visual medium is dissected we necessarily revisit the topic of CGI versus practical and the increasing difficulty of telling them apart.

Finally we visit the new breed of CGI-fest film a la, and specifically, Sin City and 300 which are not designed to mask their CG roots, but rather revel in being a highly stylised visual feast, is this a great thing or a menace?



Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/035APodcastWorthAThousandWords/035-A-Podcast-Worth-A-Thousand-Words.mp3

Episode 36: Yippie Ki Yay - The  Films of 1988 16-Jan-2014

This week the terrible trio arrive in the ripening year of 1988 and set upon it's films with their usual vigour. It is the year of 'Die Hard' and trust us, we don't forget it. Indeed memories of other action flicks this year do not come easily. Justin and Ian turn their childhoods up to 11 and gush over 'Who Framed Rodger Rabbit?' provoking the largely indifferent Leo to unleash Sue upon them and put an end to their unfounded enjoyment of this movie.

Beetlejuice is revisited and a moment is taken to muse on 'The Naked Gun' which is definitely not as funny as it used to be. Indeed there is a bit of 80's malaise starting into set in with a heavy glut of sequels culled from the decade's earlier successes, but before they can ponder this fully a small cube shaped puzzle box sends everyone to hell. Clawing their way out of the underworld the Revengeful Three note the films tumbling pass them into void; 80's lingering Fantasy genre finally expires with 'Willow'. Also vanishing never to be seen again is "Earth Girls are Easy' and 'Young Einstein' with it's disturbing menu.



Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/036YippieKayYayFilmsOf1988/036-Yippie%20Kay%20Yay%20Films%20of%201988.mp3

Podcast - Lost Christmas Episode

The cast of the original 80s Kids cartoon show reunite for this special Christmas episode. Find out the relevance of pink custard, particularly when contained in a blue earthenware jug; why you might not want to go out for milk when there are aliens about; what Fortnum and Mason started serving in 1886 (Real Trivia Fact!); and what happened to the *real* Ebenezer Scrooge in this crazy sci-fi adventure from the people who brought you loads of rambling discussion about 80s movies.



Direct Link: http://eightieskids.podomatic.com/entry/2013-12-26T07_15_19-08_00

Podcast - The Beginning of the End (of the 80s)

NOTE: I'm back on podcast posting duties this week after Ian was doing the last few. To ensure you don't miss any make sure that you check out our podomatic page eightieskids.podomatic.com

It all starts off a bit masculine in this week's episode, how could it otherwise in a year that brought us Predator, The Running Man and Robocop? Before long though the discussion takes a distinct turn for the feminine as it behooves the present 80s Kids (Leo, Ian and Sue) to consider the wealth of female-oriented entertainment 1987 spewed out in bulk.

And so goes the story of yet another proud 80s year. There is a twist in the tale, however, for 1987 is where we first begin to detect the insidious presence of the 90s. 1987's failures were echoes of the cinematic wasteland to come. In addition we see the fading of such standards as the kiddie cast genre action movie in the sub-par Monster Squad (which is still a lot of fun but nowhere near the high point of the genre).

Films such as Robocop and Wall Street told us our love affair with corporate excess and the free market was approaching its end and if Robocop signalled anything it was that the divorce would be messy. On the other side of the coin the indie film-makers were sniffing around and the first signs of the massive indie explosion of the 90s were felt in titles like Hellraiser and Bad Taste.

The winds of change had started to blow, but the 80s party is still far from over. Cling onto your neon lit, synthesizer scored rite-of-passage party, midnight is coming...


Direct Link: http://eightieskids.podomatic.com/entry/2013-12-13T11_50_44-08_00

Podcast - A Summer of Various Disappointments

It has become something of a tradition to look to summer movies for the provision of massive, popcorn swilling, eye-popping entertainments that swell the soul with awe and wonder. It has also become something of a tradition to look back over those summer seasons with a bittersweet recollection of highs and lows.

Some years the experience is a mixed bag with stand out happy moments in a morass of mediocrity and couple of real stinkers for good measure. Last year had a glistening high point in the shape of The Avengers and plenty of other similar fare for the discerning genre fan.

This year... well, this year one could not avoid disappointment wherever one turned it seems. Nowhere was there not a film underperforming at the box office, or letting down the fanbase, or just being thoroughly ho hum on every level.

So it is that the 80s Kids turn their eye to consider the summer just gone and ask what hope for the future, if any one can salvage from it.



Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/024ASummerOfVariousDisappointments/024-A-Summer-Of-Various-Disappointments.mp3

Podcast - 1981: Genre-Movie-A-Go-Go

1981 dawns bright and fresh in our memory this week, a year so crammed full of cinematic goodness an hour barely seems like an adequate amount of time to cover it all off.

The legacy of Star Wars and Halloween is felt in '81, perhaps, more heavily than it was felt previously. The amount of SF and fantasy released in '81 was truly staggering.

The traditional horror fodder of the 70s was being left behind in a deluge of slasher movies, gross out horror and more fantastic fare featuring exploding heads, babylonian zombies and flesh-warping werewolves.

The eighties were most definitely here but still finding their feet, so let's look at the triumphs and tragedies of one of the most imaginitive years in cinematic history.



Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0151981GenreMovieAGoGo/015-1981-Genre-Movie-A-Go-Go.mp3

It's Podcast Time!

Here's the first in what we hope will become a weekly podcast about movies and TV that I've produced with my friend Ian. Hope you enjoy.



Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/000IntrosEvilDead/000-Intros-Evil-Dead.mp3