I'm Not A Blogger

Photo montage includes a photo by Glen Noble from Unsplash

No, seriously, I'm not, however much this particular internet artefact may attempt to convince you otherwise. I have a blog, sure, conceded and admitted. But I am not a blogger. Bloggers, to my mind, are people who devote their time and attention to producing blog content of a quality where that content stands alone. The blog, as Hamlet would probably say if he knew about blogs, is the thing*.

My blog is not the thing. If I'm honest I don't think novels are the thing either. I love writing novels but, of late, I like writing them in order to have material to turn into audio books. Audio content, ah, well, that might very well be the thing... more on that to follow.

All of this is a roundabout way to lead up to me saying that the days of "three massive content pieces every week" are going on hold now. However, dear reader, you should not presume a return to the days of "one post a year" because that's no good either.

I think where we want to be is regular check-ins and progress updates and maybe two serious content pieces every month, tangentially riffing off the content I have going on at the time.

So, I hear nobody clamouring to know, whither Discordianism? Is that last year's news. No, not at all. I credit my recent good fortunes in the well-spring of chaotic creativity entirely to my renewed interest in the Erisian principle and the Holy Chao. Since re-discovering Discordianism I have got Starfall done and published, pulled some eyeballs into this blog, which, at the end of the day is a blog, in the original sense of the word.

For those now puzzled, what I mean to say is, the early days of blogging allowed the blog producer the liberty to be as random as they wished to be in the content. It's only in later times that you have "food bloggers" or "tech bloggers" or "society bloggers". The idea in the early days was that a blog was an ongoing public journal that would go from cabbages to kings.

I am still running this joint on that basis, people are queuing up to tell me I'm doing my marketing wrong, but I've come to realise this misses the point. If I wanted to "market" with the objective of selling as much as possible indiscriminately then I guess I could. But that's not the kind of doodad I make.

I have never made a secret that the things I cherish most are things like my copy of Over The Edge which I bought after the system had lived it's short beautiful life and passed, long since, out of print. I love it because it speaks right to the core of me. So it took me 15 years from first publication to find it and embrace it, so what. I am the message in a bottle guy. I don't want a thousand bottles to reach a bunch of randoms, I want one bottle to reach the right person.

That's not a way to get rich but it's the way to connect nodes in the great global chaosphere. And that's what I am looking to do. I am a mystic, not a magician. It's all about understanding, it's not at all about power. For which reason, I realise I need to devote the little power I have carefully and, currently, the blog is sucking up too much resource. So, expect less carefully crafted content bombs but I am here, and I do check this and you can reach me, not that anyone has.

Now I'm off to start cooking some audio, it'll be ready in 2018 so you have plenty of time to clear your ears.

Sri Syadasti,

The Monkey

*Which has sent my mind off onto a tangent where I imagine proto-emo grandaddy of all emo kids Hamlet writing long screeds into his LiveJournal about how Claudius is a bastard and Gertrude just doesn't get him. "Oh, God," he would write, "my soul is a cavern of inky despair. Ophelia caught my eye in the courtyard earlier. Doesn't she know she's a popular girl? She and I could never have a meaningful relationship because all she cares about is lipstick and flowers. Going to hang out with Laertes later and listen to some My Chemical Romance. Mood: Contemplating The Void."

Why I Am Really Bad At Marketing

If I was an author hip to the world of marketing then I would have really dragged out the reveal of the cover of my new book. I would have "teased" it. I would have built audience anticipation. Oh man, if I was good at marketing you wouldn't have slept for at least a week wondering what the cover of Starfall would look like. You would have had a little calendar on the wall counting down the number of "sleeps" until the cover was revealed.

Man, if I was good at marketing the release of my novel would be the single most important event that has ever taken place in your life. The reveal of the cover would be the anticipatory hors d'oeuvre of the whole thing. I would be the king of author foreplay.

If.

Unfortunately I am terrible at marketing. I'm so bad that the cover of the book has been visible on the Smashwords preorder page for the book for almost a week. I was confident no one would "leak" the cover because no one really cares. This is because I am terrible at marketing.

It's not like I lack confidence in the product. It's taken me over a decade to get Starfall ready and I am confident that the work stands up to scrutiny. If you like dark fantasy, mythology and learning new things then this will be one of the best books you read this year, I absolutely guarantee it.

But that's not really marketing, is it?

This is probably the main part of the problem. I have no idea what the difference is between conversation and marketing. I have no line between self-consciously advertising something and just telling people: "Hey, you know, you might enjoy this, I have to charge you for it, I like to eat."

I do know that authors on Twitter annoy me like you wouldn't believe. At one time I guessed that I too might have to rack up 20 different ways of saying "Buy My Book" on a tweet scheduler and leave it to howl it's robo-sales pitch into the Social Media maelstrom, hating myself for doing something to make the overall intellectual quality of the internet worse than it already is.

But then I thought, no, forget that. Not because I'm better than that, but because I am bad at marketing. I cannot, in good conscience, message all my friends via Facebook to buy my book, regardless of whether I think they'd get a kick out of it or not. I cannot see myself morosely repeating my sales message on my Facebook author page. I am using Lulu for print copies and Smashwords for e-books because I like to support business that isn't Amazon, monopolies are bad for everyone, the monopoly holder included, I am trying to save Amazon from themselves.

All of this because I couldn't identify an effective marketing strategy in a line up if one had mugged me in a dark alley yesterday evening. I'm sorry officer, it all happened so fast, I didn't have time to see how many engagements the perpetrator could convert. I have no funnel strategy. I just wanted some people who might enjoy it to read my book, and I wanted to get paid, because people do cool, creative things, they deserve to get paid. That's what I thought.

Yeah, let's face it, I am bad at marketing. Hey ho.

Plastic Bags, Extension Reels, Tarot and Levercastle

At last! The wristband to meet all of my wristbanding needs!

And Lo! There was networking just to the side of the M4 and people looking for new pals did come and the world of the small business saw that it was good.

Starting out at the ungodly time of 6 AM for a 6:45 start (networking breakfast for the win!) I approached Cardiff's Village Hotel before the sun had risen in order to join a cohort of other slightly bleary but otherwise enthusiastic but lovely people for a morning of getting to know yous.

I literally found out about the event two days ago when David of Books & Pontyclun messaged me to ask if we were "still on for Friday", My response: "were we doing something on Friday?" This may signal my level of preparedness at this early rising start of business but not my engagement with the process.

After spending a jolly time learning who was present and then enjoying a quick discussion of regional accents and paying for plastic carrier bags with the lads from DevelopMy I moved on to the main business of the day the Sterling Integrity business show, I had come along primarily to video David's talk in which we will discover why this image

Just another day at the bookshop!

has proven central to David's Facebook marketing in recent days. More, obviously, to follow on that in a short while.

When I actually looked at the venue  where I was to film the talk I noted that I would need that cable extension reel I totally forgot to buy yesterday. So, off to the supermarket I went, good job the weather was glorious for November, really.

Once I returned to the venue I worked out the other thing I'd failed to have adequately prepared for, the mandatory gaffering down of trailing camera wires. Not wanting to be sued I begged for an assist from the kind gentlemen from LNP Sound and they sorted me right out for which I must offer heartfelt thanks as must all the people who failed to break their neck tripping over my cables.

After David's talk I talked to a couple more people, not the least the delightfully enthusiastic Mary Collin, with whom I managed to get into a conversation about Levercastle and Tarot, one of the most interesting conversations of the day! After this I had to leave as time was wearing on and, well, I really wanted to get home and put that order in for a big reel of white gaffer of my very own.

Apparently My Lance Is Free

Well, sort of.

It has to be said that I have not been busier than I have been in the last couple of weeks for a long while. The up side of this is that I am feeling really positive about the work that I am doing. The down side is that no one is, as yet, paying me for my work. But then it has only been about a week that I've engaged in such activity so early days yet.

I guess this does leave me with something of a quandary. I will need some income eventually, after all. The thing is I am finding that I have more energy and do more useful work when I'm not actually, you know, going to work.

I'm finding the removal of the salary safety net has had, paradoxically, the opposite effect than one would expect on my mood and outlook. I just hope that someone would like to retain my services before I have to return to the haven of being someone else's employee.

The other thing that's been really good is that I have met lots of other self-employed people who do a staggering number of different things and meeting these people is far more interesting than going into a work place and meeting people who are employed by the same employer as you. People, on the whole, are usually interesting for one reason or another, but people who are pulling their own weight and going their own way in life are just more interesting in and of themselves, or maybe it's just novelty.

Before I go I should draw your attention to the new link on the top right to my new freelance services page. I hope to expand this with case studies and examples shortly but it is there and available, that is the main thing.

(By the way, hope everyone is getting along with the new look. Let me know.)

Podcast - A Bad Case of Marketing

Or maybe a case of bad marketing? Man of Steel tries to ingratiate the clergy and ends up being labelled the anti-christ. Arnie steps up to the plate for the Geriatrinator Reboot. And everyone seems to think that Pacific Rim is some kind of toilet detergent. This week's show is all about when marketing goes bad, goes wonky or just plain fails to work at the movies.

Incidentally Pacific Rim is a movie where mechas piloted by Idris Elba and Ron Perlman engage giant lizards directed by the man who brought you Blade II, Hellboy, Pan's Labyrinth and Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark and hence will be COMPLETELY AWESOME.

#DontLetPacificRimDie


Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/009ABadCaseOfMarketing/009-A-Bad-Case-Of-Marketing.mp3

Do It Now, Not Later (I Am A Dandelion)

I have to get used to blogging on the run. That's what the title's all about. That and wanting the title to sound like a track listing from a 70s prog rock opus. :)

I just thought I'd drop off a link to some advice for self publishers from Neil Gaiman via Forbes.

Nice article, if the prospect of reading the whole thing is still tl, so you are tempted to, er, nr, here's a precis:

1. Be nice: As it says
2. Readers discover authors they love, they don’t buy them: Linked to Guy Kawasaki's 'Cover The Earth'. People find stuff they like and then they spend money, it is never the other way round. Same for music, same for anything really. I have one CD I bought on sight with no other info. I have over 500 CDs. All the rest came from music conversations, music sharing, memories, emotional attachment. If you're not out there people cannot become emotionally attached to stuff you do. So get people engaged with your stuff, then ask for money.
3. What is valuable is what is unique: Short version make your product, or versions of your product, special somehow. Innovate.
4. Make yourself heard: As it says.
5. Be lucky, be a dandelion, try stuff: Disclosure time, the thing I have learned about Chicago Shadows is that, presently, it is hard for me to get the books out there particularly with respect to item 4. I wouldn't class the current volumes as a failure but my current projects are easier to get out in front of the world, so they are going to take priority.

Self Publishing - State of Play

Let's start 2013 with a list of five thoughts I have running round my head regarding the general market environment for indie authors in the upcoming year:

1. I am finding the zeitgeist in my "Self Publishing" news stream has avoided the redundant "the bubble has burst" phase. This is probably because there was no real bubble in self publishing to speak of. The zeitgeist has now turned to "don't bother self publishing unless you're a masochist because it's a waste of time and nobody cares". Also "marketing is hard".

2. Marketing is hard.

3. The populace of the Western world really has too much expectation of their ambitions toward authorship. More than was even suspected prior to the advent of the electronic book.

4. The average quality of work bounced out of slush piles must be higher than slush pile readers report OR far more good writers were discouraged by the existence of the slush pile and hoopla surrounding them than was ever suspected.

5. You need far fewer avid fans to get by than you used to (due to higher royalty returns) BUT finding your fans is a hellish business.

BONUS THOUGHT: The Kilimanjaro-like peak of "building a platform" for the nascent indie author seems daunting. Tackling the long climb to "niche market base camp" appears a foolhardy endeavour. In fact, I believe, digital media just makes this forbidding, awe-inspiring mountain visible, and it is - de facto - more challenging to climb an invisible mountain than a visible one.

Take heart everyone and have a cracking 2013 won't you. (Now where are my crampons?)

Holiday Time!

Just madly doing a bunch of chores and similar in preparation for the Yuletide getaway. The post-facto marketing of Chicago Shadows is turning out to be really time consuming. Poor Sue is watching me cut and paste loads of stuff into various forms to try to make some kind of a "noise" in the wider world.

I am really feeling the pinch of not having reviews for the series. I know they're bloody good and will become successful in time. I just didn't make enough noise about them ahead of time. Not a mistake I plan to make with the 2013 releases.

Anyway, just a brief note to say Happy Christmas to one and all. I'll catch you next week in preparation for putting my best foot forward in 2013.

Have a good one folks!

Monkey Marketing Magic

So, fully APEd up I have begun to feel my way into the wacky world of marketing. The first thing I have learned is that, should I ever write a writer's manual it should probably be called "How To Write For Fun (And Profit?)".

I like writing, I like publishing, that is I actually get a kick of pushing my little babies into the world, but do I like selling them? I mean, yes, when people buy them it is a great feeling. But do I like selling them? I would have to respond in the ambivalent on that score.

Here is a quick run down of how I feel about marketing so far:

5 Things I Like About Marketing

1. Social networking is fun if approached right: If I am, in fact approaching it right. I am taking an interest in people, websites and all that jazz, I am hoping they take an interest in me. People are interesting.
2. Doing stuff is quite easy: I've filled in a lot of registration forms, retweeted items of interest, read a book, reviewed a book. It's all pretty good.
3. It feels like you're involved all of a sudden: People keep saying that writers are hermit-like, I never got that until the point where I started not being hermit like.
4. It moves pretty fast: It's kind of exhilarating sitting in a whirl of tweets, status updates, shelves and circles. You can feel the thrum of humanity swirling around you in digital form.
5. It's filled with opportunity: Taking a good look around feels like you are on the verge of seeing something remarkable, so much is going by that something good must be coming... right?

5 Things I Dislike About Marketing

1. It feels a bit never-ending: There comes a time when the punch is flat at the party and the buffet food is down to curly sandwiches and a weird bowl of sweaty looking potato chips. A sensible person would go home but nobody's sure if that's the right thing to do.
2. You have to properly mind your ps and qs: Not in a fake way but everyone's a bit naive, or at least I think that most people at the great social internet dance are not fully aware of the protocols until they get violated. It seems way too easy to be a bore, or inappropriate or to become a wallflower. Exhausting balancing act.
3. You question whether you're doing things for the right reasons: There's a purity about committing an act of artistic creation, unleashing it upon the world and then walking away trusting that people will discover it in their own time. The minute you start actually wanting to push it towards people you enter a state where you are a salesperson, rightly or wrongly. I think selling things is a skill, the right thing needs to be sold to the right person in the right way. Targeting the right people in the right way is super hard.
4. The curve is insane: Being socially polite is easy, being socially polite and somehow introducing a segue into "but my stuff" is really hard.
5. The agenda isn't clear but the consequences of wandering off it seem to be quite harsh: It would appear that the rules are as follows:
   
   -Rule Number One: Don't annoy people.
   -Rule Number Two: Skate pretty close to annoying people to get your point across.
   -Rule Number Three: If you skate over the line then you will be persona non grata.

After typing all that I have to wonder if maybe I'm too scared of being judged. I think you're not supposed to take the whole thing too seriously, but that's hard when I do take the writing and the publication processes seriously. I like my stuff I think it's worthy. The problem I am wrestling with at the moment is: How do I let everyone else know that in a sensible manner?